Once I get an idea in my head, I become completely obsessed. Let me repeat...completely obsessed. Keep that in mind when I say that I also have some trouble making decisions. I had a time during our recent move across the country. Leaving Los Angeles forced me to say good-bye to my career, and after much discussion and contemplation, we decided that I wouldn't go job hunting for awhile. I would take this opportunity to get our new home organized and to learn to relax, a skill that had always eluded me. We could also focus on starting a family. To this day, I still agonize over this decision. It is now a more permanent arrangement though, since we made "the" decision. I am working, but only on a contract basis, so I can quit at any time.
Given my track record with decision making, including a consistent difficulty in choosing dinner, imagine our surprise when neither Charlie nor I had no problems with this decision.
After a quick discussion, we came to the conclusion that we had three options. We could adopt, we could continue to try for a pregnancy, or we could forgo our dream of children. We had no diagnosed nor anticipated fertility problems (although we had been trying for a year), so continuing to try a few more months for a biological baby seemed the logical choice because of our strong desire for kids. The third option of not having children wasn't our first choice, but it would allow us to maintain our freedom - travel whenever we want, buy the latest gadgets, and so on. It sounded fun, but very lonely. It sure wouldn't fill the gap in our lives.
We have a friend with three adopted grandchildren. The love that the family feels for these kids and the heartbreaking stories of their lives pre-adoption reminded us of Charlie's trip to the orphanages. We couldn't resist - the thought of those little children starting their lives in institutions was too much for us. Adoption it was.
